Make a Mother's Day teapot card

Pocket chart activities, cards and gift ideas...

Looking for Mother's Day book ideas?

Tips for Helicopter Parents

I have had a number of emails from readers asking how to relate positively to "helicopter parents". Helicopter parents got their name because they hover very closely to their kids, coming between their children and any adversity. They generally tend to shelter their children from learning from mistakes.

I think most parents can relate to the desire to have their kids succeed and it can be hard to stand back and let them fail. I know that I began my parenting adventure by hovering too much.

I think the trick is to start by letting kids learn from failure in the little things. I remember chatting with a fellow teacher who said her son had waited for the day before a school skit to tell her he needed a costume. She told him, "Good luck with that," and directed him to the family dress up box. At that time I would have probably attempted to solve my son's problem even if it meant staying up late. Now, as an experienced parent, I would choose the teacher's actions.

It can be hard for parents to know when and how to let their kids learn from failure. Part of the tendency for today's parents to hover is a fear for their children's safety, much more so than parents of 40 or 50 years ago.

How can you, as a teacher, help parents to let go? If you feel you are a hovering parent what can you do?

Step in:

• when a child has experienced emotional or physical trauma
or
• if you notice personality changes or odd behavior

When my second son was in grade one he changed from a happy active child to one that would come home, lay on the couch and not talk. I knew something was up and changed him from a strict, work book type of school (what was I thinking?) to one with a hands on, discovery based environment. He bounced back to his old self quickly.

A parent probably needs to step back if they are:

• solving last minute problems for their child that the child should have taken care of
• replacing toys or items for a child who has broken or lost them
• forever returning to school with forgotten show and tell items, lunches, PE clothes, or homework
• constantly rescuing, planning every moment for and/or making suggestions to their child

The moments when kids mess up are wonderful life lessons for them and are part of the experiences they need to go through in order to grow into responsible, independent adults. Rather than being rescued, they need to hear parents say, "Well you forgot today but I am confident in your abilities to solve this problem next time."

Here are a few articles you may be interested in:

Some of the links are too long for this email program, so please copy and paste them in your browser if they don't work.

For teachers: A brief article explaining the helicopter parent phenomena and what teachers can do.

http://educationalissues.suite101.com/article.cfm/helicopter_parents_land

A quiz - "Are you a hovering parent?"

http://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/school/hoover-parent.html

And lastly, an excellent

article for parents by Dr. Michele Borba (advisor to Dr. Phil)

http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2009/12/27/michele-borba-could-you-be-a-helicopter-parent/

What's New?

http://www.kindergarten-lessons.com/positive_classroom_behavior.html

Written in response to a number of email questions regarding creating positive classroom behavior.

Also new:

Ezine article - Teaching preschool and kindergarten math

http://ezinearticles.com/?Teaching-Kindergarten-and-Preschool-Math&id;=4162644

Happy Teaching, Patricia from kindergarten-lessons.com